in need

Long ago short hair pic...
Today huishan and nico came over to my house to play basketball and badminton.
It was really fun =D.
Had many things happening these days but lazy to post.
But honestly speaking,i was really happy to know you HUI SHAN JIE!
And yes this post is delicated to her.
Although sometimes she is slow,blur and make me bek chek, but i am very happy to know her =D.
Why???
Because i finally found someone who share similiar ideology as me.
Because i found another alien friend.
Finally someone who could understand how i feel and understand me.
Somehow you remind me of my shadow.
The person i am hiding from people.
Even my friends said i was kind of like you in the past.
They think i changed but i did not.
I was hiding that self within me to avoid arguments.
I really hate people who do not respect others views and opinions.

I always respected and do not try to change other`s views and opinions.

Because i think every individual is special and as long as their thoughts do not harm anyone,i repected their views and would not enforce mine on them.
However, sad to say i have friends who tried to enforce their values to mine.
Whenever i argued or state my point,they would say i am being difficult.
They never understood me and expect me to understand them.
What kind of logic is this?
It is just plain unfair.
Eventually they just say things sacastically and leave me aside.
Well i appreciate the "worry" you have for me,but i really don`t like it when it is too forceful.
It is ok because i do not mind being outcasted or all the problems i will face.
I have to thank you because you are always there supporting me huishan jie.
You are always there to help me when i needed help.
Listen to my complains and woes T_T.
Most importantly you never give up on me even though i make mistakes.
Even though i have not known you for long.
But it seems like eternity~woots!
EWW sounds so disgusting LOL!
You are my unique friend and precious friend.
I am glad to have met you.
Do not change because i like you just the way you are~
Do not care about other people negative comments about you,because i know you are not like that and you are kind person =).
I do not why i said all this,but it is from the bottom of my heart.
I even feel pai seh when writing it because i am not good at expressing my feelings.
But who good or bad to me i know one ok!
I will treat whoever good to me good and whoever bad to me HELL!
Well and last but not least,sarangheyo chingu huishan!
Touched not?
Hahas!
Read le cannot laugh or cry hor!

Talked to germaine for hours today.
Been a long time since we chatted =D.
Really had a fun time chatting,thanks ger!
I am starting to like sports and i shall play basketball tomorrow.
I do not wish to see my brother`s friends hoard the court again >:(!
I am tired as it is a long day.
Shall finish this blog post tomorrow tata~

You really do not have to show off.
It just shows how much of a sickening person you have become.
I do not know you anymore.
I believe that this world has karma.
What goes around comes around.
You know what you did.
God have eyes.
You cannot fool.

21 July

It was the worst day of my life.

But after playing basketball with vivian,ram,huishan and other friends,i felt much much better.

Sometimes i wonder,what the heck is wrong?

Even after everything,can`t we still be friends?

I did not want to send that message,i hesitate a lot before i did.

I remember last time i told you i was OK,but actually i am not but i did not want you to feel guity or anything.

All the while i have been sparing a thought for your feelings but what about you?

All you have ever done is to hurt me,make me so so confused and unhappy.

Till now,i realised i was not even a friend to you,maybe even less than a stranger.

Nevermind,i have tried my best,i will not ponder about it anymore.

The basketball game was fun.I scored about 3 throws?Maybe more?

Hahas.I remember accidentally hitting and stepping on people`s foot.

Sorry it was not on purpose.

The court was too overcrowded =x.

I tried so hard to avoid getting hit by the ball.There was once the ball bounce over and i run and douge quickly.

I was VERY cautious of the ball.

BUT THEN I STILL GOT HIT.

I was grabbing the ball and vivian came over to snatch it and the ball hit my face T_T.But it`s ok,at least i got the ball in my hands =x.

Huishan did not play no matter how much i persuade and asked her too.

So while they are still playing,i kept her company for a awhile then we went home.

22 July

School was ok even though it is BIOCHEM today.

I hate BIOCHEM.

Met vivian for break today blah blah blah.

Then went home with huishan and nico.

Before that,we waited for nico.

While waiting,out of a sudden,did not know why but we started talking about how our parents met each other and got married etc.

It was funny yet frustrating.

About marriage....

We have the same mindset.

Before marriage,everything was sweet.

And after marriage, even though it is just a little misunderstanding, the drama occurs and the word DIVORSE started to appear too often.

But why even get married when you are thinking of divorse?

Because of what?

Because of loneliness?

Because of wanting to show off?

Because of just wanting a family or child and so just find anyone to settle down?

Because of money?

Because of wanting to wear a wedding dress?

I don`t understand.

I really don`t.

This is what i have seen these days when people get married out of recklessness and when people get into a relationship.
Maybe i do not understand because i am not a person who fall in love very easily.

But when i do,even though i am not together with that person.

I will remember this love for life.

It is really kind of sad huh?

Even though people say nothing lasts forever,nothing is absolute.

People change.

Maybe it is in my personality,i don`t know.

Now there is like less than 50% of my love left.

All i know is i cannot love like before.

I just let my heart fall.

Devoted.

I always believe in making the first move.

Because i did not want to regret.

Because i know WHAT I WANT.

But sadly,WHAT YOU WANT always leave you when you WANT THEM.

Therefore, now there is nothing I WANT ANYMORE.

I will give my love to whoever cares for me most,like my friends and family.

And not to the person i love and care most who does not appreciate.

It is only fair and i won`t get hurt too much.

This is what i have learnt from the philosophy of what we have chatted that day.

Pictures:

Got more but lazy to post.

Watch u-kiss vampire episode yesterday (Y).

It was about blood type personality.

From what i have observed,B blood types really annoys me.

They are sarcastic and nonchalent.

What i cannot stand most is their sarcasm and they expect people to care about their feelings when they are actually nonchalent about others.

Nonchalent - Do not care.

Even though AB are similiar too but at least they are more honest with their words.

They may be harsh but at least less fake then B blood types because they do not use sacarsm you see.

Why i say that is because some people who do not understand the art of sacarsm really suffers under their hands.

Well of course O blood type is the best ya...

Because we are purest hahas!

And we are fun to be with - when we want to and gets hyper.

We get along well with almost everyone.

AND WE ARE THE MOST GENEROUS!!!

I share the same blood type as alexdander,kibum,eli and KEVIN =D.

But it is common anyway LOL.

But i like A blood types better.

Because they are understanding and organised.

They think and care about others before themselves.

That is what i admire about them ya...

What they should try to control is their constant worrying.

LOL hahas.

Yeah~She`s one fat naughty hamster!

This is me.I hope my hair grow longer >.<
Well,been staying at home these days.
Playing audi and i have no mood at all to study T_T.
Holidays i am going to plan a lot of activities!!!
Holidays faster come!!!
Till then, i love my rotting blog.
LOL...

Why till now i still love you?

Taken at Gimpo airport 12/6/10

It is a beautiful day today...

TO SLEEP!

The fortune teller is back yesterday.

I went to see her.

The results was...Depressing...hahas...

The tarot card really get me down lah.

I asked her a question that i wanted to know since a very long time.

That had bothered me since then.

I asked her "whether you have ever loved me,whether it is the past,present or future".

I remember the first card which shows a lot of hearts which means the answer is "yes".

But i do not believe it.

WHY?!?!?!

If you loved me but i don`t see any signs of affection from you.

I look around and only see funny/idiotic actions from your friends lah.

To be honest,i really dislike them to the core.

They really ruin my life.

Ok i do not want to continue.

This really pisses me off.

All the while i was disagreeing with what the fortune teller says.

The reason?

1: To test whether she is realiable.

2: Some parts i find it not true so i have to clarify.

But what leaves the big impression is she said that i was stubborn and have a lot of pride.

People ask me to go north i will go south.

I will only listen to the people that i like.

But then good things i will also listen one ok!

I will see how things go before i make a decision.

This is where the story begins.