I wonder why.
Why do i have to go through this.
I don`t blame you.
I blame myself for putting myself through this.
Maybe i should not be so honest from the start.
It makes it awkward for us now, maybe what i have said startled you and it might seemed fake thus making me not knowing how to face you.
But what i have said are all my honest feelings.
I know i don`t know you well, but i just don`t understand why either.
At first i thought it`s the feeling of loneliness that leads to feeling this way, but no, that`s not it.
Now i realised.
My feelings are along are so true and sincere.
If only i listened to my heart at that time.
I tried.
Even though not at my best, because i was not given the chance.
Or maybe i did not treasure the chance.
Because i want to be sure, before i even make a move, i want something i put all of my heart and soul into to last at least.
Therefore, i was afraid to show you the real me, thinking that you might dislike me for my real personality.
This only happens with you, i have no problem being myself with others.
Last time i even thought of making myself depressed all the time as a little sacrifice to make you love me or maybe my sadness could make you happier and luckier.
I realised, that was quite a stupid thing to do.
If we are really meant to be, we will be together by now.
But i guess i should be happy for you, at least you find someone you love now, someone that makes you happy.
If i said i moved on, i`ll be lying.
Because this memories, be it happy or sad will always remain in my heart.
Even though if i had the chance, i would not fall in love with you like this, because this feelings are too real to be true.
Maybe i will be better off without these feelings.
I blame myself for falling for something i cannot keep.
Makes me feel very insecure now.
Makes me feel bad of rejecting other guys either, might be adding up to the bad karma.
Maybe i should start giving myself a chance to start anew, as well as giving others a chance too, i wonder if i can really do it.


Is it just me who is missing you?
Statying up through the tiresome night thinking of you.
Try as i would to hate you more, i yearned for you once again.
Is it just me who shed tears and felt hurt?
While yearning for your love like this?