in need

Hmm...finally im back blogging!I realised my birthday is only in a few days time,wonder how it will be like?
I do not really like big parties or having fun as i have really transformed into a cold/cool person?
Well since my mum is willing so why not?
I hope i can get into my "HIGH" mode as i havnt been really and truely crazy for a long time.I really don`t like to be uncool and laugh like crazy.
I know i may sound like amu chan,but i realised actually im really a lot like her,just not ready to be my true self and admire those who are truely lively,happy and carefree(i want to be someone like that and i am someone like that in the past,how i wish i was the me in the past).I tried,but its really tough.
I tried to take the first step,but whenever u try to talk to someone,and that person ignores you,maybe purposely,or maybe that person cant hear you,it really upsets me when that person replies you a shout/scream "WHAT!" back.It is just very hurtful.When i try to be nice,i get taken advantage of,and whenever im nasty or in the "cool" mode,people seem to treat me better.So isnt it better if i stayed that way?
I feel that when i smile or laugh,it isnt really true as when i find something funny,i will be tempted to laugh but i swallowed it back whenever i see people looking at me in a strange manner.
Maybe now i really care about my image,of how others think of me.How i wish i can get that off my back XD.I can say that no one really understand me,not even myself as i have been misunderstood about something im not.EG:In the morning,as i love to sleep a lot,hence i feel very lertargic and come to school with a heavy heart.I sit at my usual position and usually stare into blank space,i think im still sleeping with eyes open XD.But people think im angry(aka in a seriously bad mood) but the truth is im not!im just tired!even if i have "that face",i really didnt know how that come about.
When someone talks to me,did i ever shout or scream at u?no,so how can i be angry?I really feel very upset by this,i have been misunderstood for many things,of course nobody will ever know as i usually keep unhappy things to myself XD,i really dun like or maybe dun know how to express my feelings.
Ok this post is to remind myself no more of such stuff is to be written in my blog again XD(i was inspired by the long assembly talk today to blog about this).
Anyway beside the unhappy stuffs,i should be happy as im going to be 16 soon(which im not really that happy).i hope to be happy on that day as well.
Anyway people buckle up your socks and train your vocals because you are going to sing on that day!
You don`t want to embarass yourself infront of me right?hahaha!
Oh and last but not least,come dressing up with unique styles such as unique hairstyles!You have to have style to be a singer right!im going to be the cool/unique/sporty girl of course =x(wearing warm colour clothing)im different from Hj because she is more of the cool and emo =x.SL will be the elegant,GE will be the classical/simple/girl next door type?,If KJ can come she will be lolita 0.0,WY will be hot and sexy =x.

Happy CNY 2008!Hahas...had a fun,memorable and a little boring day today XD.Fun and memorable was celebrating the new year with my two bestest friends Lingyu(Ly) and Yongling(Yl)!omg the letters are opposite!Boredness was in my grandma house.Everyone was always so emo,there is always that cold atmosphere.Today Yl and i went to TNPS,then went to find lingyu,and also disturbed her "beauty sleep".Psps Ly XD.We went to her house and chatted.Its been a long time since we seen each other and of course i was happy!=D...Dont know if they feel the same way =(,they can be pretty heartless =x.Not going to state the content of the conversation =x,im being secretive >.<.Then they went to tm,leaving me all alone to go to my grandma`s house,just kidding!Hahas!I have to go back there to have lunch and we seperated.After lunch i went to a chinese restaurant called dim tam something,i forgetten the name XD to find them.When i reached there,i saw them still waiting for their food to be served and they complained about the slow food service.They also decided to spend as much time enjoying their food because of the slow service,the process was hilarious.If i am really(oh and i refrained myself from saying "damm" because its CNY and there is a law set by me of not saying anything vulgar during CNY period,See germaine im a good girl!You must also refrained from saying "shit"!) hungry at that time,i might just go crazy(bonkers) of watching their slow speed of eating(because im a fast eater =D,not a glutton ok!).As im not hungry at that time,their lifes were spared =x.Watching them eating one grain of rice after another was quite interesting?or should i say it`s funny?Anyway it doesnt bother me because we can spend our time chatting and they enjoy their meal XD.Both of them keep forcing me to eat the xiao long bao when im so stuffed,but i just keep refusing,wasted time and making them annoyed lol but i think it`s fun so i do it!LOL!Btw,in the end i still eat the xiao long bao XD because if i don`t they treatened me to foot their bill by running away leaving me with the bill (._.).And Ly was like experimenting with the soysauce and chili sauce,making her rice so salty and ended up wasting some precious food!bad bad Ly =P.After that we went shopping,fooled around with hats and clothes,and some cute stuffed toys[some v day(valentine ones)].It was fun.We wanted to take many pictures but it was tough to do so.Ly and i bought a jacket while Yl didnt buy anything as she did not have enough money,all spent on food =x.Yl suggested that we meet on v day!Yay!Wonder if i will have any presents =x.I hope i will be able to make it on wed!Thanks for a great day gals!

Till then...
To Be Continued...

As what is stated in my title..."to someone out there".You want people to tell you what u are wrong right?Well "we" once tried to tell you,but what did the situation end up into?You "crying" and thinking we were being mean and was picking on you.To avoid such embarrasing situations,i rather chose not to say anything.Even if i tell you what i think went wrong in you,you will just deny it and said that im perfectly fine/im not like that,so what`s the point?I know you are "straightfoward" unlike most of my friends but i think it is used mostly in the wrong ways.i rather not state any examples,because it doesnt relate to me but i just heard it somewhere.I never jump into conclusions into anything,i dont like being accused so i dun think it`s nice to accuse people of being like this or that.Unfortunately,i have been in the same class as you this four years,i have observed many things that lead to my conclusion of you as a person.At first,i thought you were a nice and friendly girl,or should i add "simple-minded" in too?But i realised i was wrong,totally wrong.I don`t think you would like to know why,i might ~!@#$%^&*.

Oh and btw,i know i badmouthed people,only if they have something for me to badmouthed about.Usually i don`t bother to do this kind of silly things,it`s just a waste of time.Its always someone calling me up to badmouthed about certain people,so i guess i got this "badmouthing" influence from them.I even learnt that badmouthing is actually a good thing,because people tend to badmouthed,even if they dun even know their badmouthing target,they just like to do it.I might even get badmouthed by people i don`t even know,so why should i lose out?I should also start with this badmouthing "about anybody" trend =D.Thanks for saying im a bad/lousy friend,i would love to be one among such many hypocrites im living with.LOL!