in need

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUISHAN!
I put this in purple wor.
Your favourite colour =DDD!

This post is specially delicated to her.
Touched ma?
Hahas.

LASTLY,what i want to say today is.
I want to leave this place.
Not as in die or anything.
I want to go somewhere far away.
Where nobody knows me there.
A place where i can start anew.
A place where i can truely be myself.
Me.
To be honest,the person you see now isn`t the real me.
But there is one person i realise i unknowingly showed my true self.
I wonder how she made me do that.
She must be an incredible person then :D.
I must admit that i am tired truely tired.
In the past,no matter how much i rebel and protected my own dreams and pride,not only they do not support me,they will use a different perspective to look at me(and of course it is a negative one).
They may not say anything infront of you(i rather they say it) and when they finally do say it,it really make me disappointed.
As i realised,in their eyes,i was always "like this or like that"(also negative) when i have no idea they think of me that way.
I guess that is why i hide my true self to avoid disappointment.
It hurts even more when this happened with your good friend.
They might appear that they are alright with my opinion,but deep down is another story.
Maybe this also means that i no longer trusts people around me that lead to all the facade(the mask).
I am tired of all this facade.
I don`t want to hide my real self.
It is tiring.
Really tidous.
I had enough hiding my true self just to make the people around me happy.
But have they ever thought of me?(Maybe some)
I have this urge to go to a new place because afterall what i have shown now is already implicted in people.
I really hate one thing about myself.
Why!!!
Why can`t i see the negative traits of people.
Some people have the ability to turn good traits of people into bad traits.
Some people have the ability of gossiping about others without any karma retribution happening to them.
Why man!!!
Why can`t i do the same?
I would feel so much better LOL!
I learnt the art of gossiping through my friends.
Now i am learning to use it too LMAO.
But i really do not like it.
It just one of the ways to get back at people i guess.
I believe in karma so i believe in getting back at people who do bad things.
That is the only way they will learn.
Punishment.
That is to help good people who are suffering that good people deserve good treatment!
Ok i think that is all for now.
I sound so draggy why do i always talk so philosopical =\.
I want a new life of adventures,happiness and something out of the ordinary =D.
Can my wish be granted?=D

I have a wish.
No maybe i should call it my aim.
If you ask me what i want to become.
I would say.
I want to become an angel.
Why???
Because angels protects and they shine so "prettifully"(i prefer the word pretty over beautiful =x).
They are also god most wonderful appretice.
Then why do i not want to be god?
God is the supreme ruler(Strongest,most powerful,most respected etc).
Anio Anio.(It means no in korean).
Being an angel is better because they are loved and protected by god.
They may not be the most powerful.
But they do not have to worry about anything and make BIG decisions.
They are always happy and carefree.
They are like the children of god,innocent and childlike.
I think it suits me more.
So if i could i would want to be reincarnated as an angel.
Even though i have no religion or remain neutral about whether god exists.
But i do think it is happier to believe that god exists, at least even though nobody loves you,there is still god =D and he will always be there for you.