in need

I shouldnt have seen the message.
I shouldnt have replied the message.
I shouldnt have said "yes".
Its all my fault all the tension occured.
So i hope all the tension stops.
My cousins are coming over tomorrow,i hope these few days will be a happy and memorable day for them.
I also hope to play a good host.
Maybe its like what they say "i gain i lose".
I had a happy time two days ago winning during the gambling session.
However,things didnt turn out "happy" today.
"Maybe this is why im never happy".
Something may make me feel happy today,but miserable on the next day.
Like what people usually says "One happy the other sad".
I am afriad to lose "something",that is why i am afriad to live life happy everyday.
Ok i seem pestimistic rather than the confident and optimistic germaine says i am.
Germaine i am not as optimistic as i think i am hahas!
I worry every single day.
Like when "the end of the world comes" what should i do?
I dun want to die!!!
I have too many things i havnt accomplish!
But there is saying that if you want to live longer u have to suffer living on earth.
But i do not want to suffer miserably everyday!!!
If i suffer miserably everyday,then what is the point of living?
My cousin just says i look "miserable" today,i think she means i look kind of sad.
OMG such a young kid can tell?
LOL actually i am not sad but just kind of worried.
I worry of a lot of things i just wish i can stop worrying!
Haix sure wish i was younger,the "me" of the past is always so carefree.
Haix but time cant turn back.
Feel better after posting it out.
I shall think about our kbox trip instead!
And my cousin coming over to visit =D!
Must wait for me ok germaine and MY!
And remember dun wear GREEN LOL!